


dictionary definitions

by the_feeling_is_mutual



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: "wait theres no crepe shops near the campus...." in my heart there are, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Asexual Character, Gen, crepe shops, fitzroys ~journey with asexuality~ kinda mirrors my own and it shows lmao, i treat the canon timeline and the existence of fantasy google with a cheerful nonchalance, i wrote this so fast i went into a fugue state and when i woke up it was done, just noticed the first tag was kinda fucked up so Whoops (it’s fixed now), step one: wait thats a thing?, step three: oh shit thats me, step two: wait thats a thing that you can actually be?, sweet crepes, the oc is my terrible dnd child andy bloodrayne and she's lovely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25655743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_feeling_is_mutual/pseuds/the_feeling_is_mutual
Summary: A story of sweet crepes, bonding with strangers, and realizing that you might not be so weird after all.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 47





	dictionary definitions

**Author's Note:**

> me (asexual), hearing that fitzroy is asexual: ok time to go fucking feral
> 
> wrote this COMPLETELY unedited, unbeta'd, un-anythinged. please excuse the terrible amount of parentheses; i was On A Roll.

Fitzroy manages to strike a lovely balance between nerd-dom and jock-dom, meaning he doesn't go into the library that often, what with quests, stuff like trying to process Argo eating a lime, _peel and all_ , and whatnot. (He's still kind of not over the lime.) Still, at some point even the fanciest of boys must enter the library, and Fitzroy may or may not be looking for the next book in the mildly trashy adventure series he's been reading lately. (The best part about being six foot four is being able to reach the top shelf.)

Someone left the huge Fantasy Dictionary open on the table, and as Fitzroy picks it up to put it back on its Dictionary Stand™, his eyes skim over the page, landing on a word he doesn't really recognize. 

"Asexual." 

He sets the dictionary back down; normally, Fitzroy is absolutely _not_ the kind of dude to read the fantasy dictionary for goofs, but something about the word feels familiar.

The definition reads:

" _adj_ \- Without sexual feelings or associations.

'Asexual individuals may still experience attraction, but this attraction doesn't need to be realized in any sexual manner.'"

He skips the line about organisms that reproduce without sex (they did basic fantasy biology at his grade school, that's not too new) and keeps reading.

" _n._ A person who does not feel sexual attraction."

_Neat_ , Fitzroy thinks. You learn something new every day, and apparently there's a word for that. Cool. This definitely won't affect his day-to-day life.

He puts the dictionary back on the stand and grabs the next book in the adventure series. 

* * *

Fitzroy is not too proud to admit that learning that the word "asexual" exists may have affected his day-to-day life (well, day-to-night). He doesn't have a problem with it, it's just that....that's a new option. There's a word for that. There's a word for that and it might possibly apply to him, except it definitely doesn't because he's _normal_ , he's absolutely completely fucking normal in that facet at least. Totally and completely and overwhelmingly normal. Definitely.

He rolls over and sighs into his pillow.

This isn't helping.

* * *

Fantasy Google is slightly more helpful; it tells him that there are a lot of asexual people out there, many of them wear black rings on the middle fingers of their right hands to show their pride, and there are a ton of terrible puns about cake, which is reassuring. 

He still definitely knows he's probably not asexual? Maybe? Still, it's nice to know there's a community out there. For people who are asexual, of course. Which he definitely isn’t. Maybe.

* * *

It finally clicks one night, when it's about three in the morning and he's still lying awake, having totally given up on meditation at this point. The reason he'd felt so weirdly drawn to the term is because he _is_ asexual. It's not a death sentence, it's not a crime, it's just...something that is. 

"Holy shit," Fitzroy says.

"G'back to sleep, Fitzroy," Argo mumbles from across the room.

"Holy shit," Fitzroy says again, a bit more quietly. It all makes so much sense.

* * *

The one perk about having the headmaster be a demon-prince-slash-dog is that Fitzroy can leave the campus to go a crepe shop and nobody gives too much of a shit. He deserves an extra nice sweet crepe, okay? He just went through a deep soul-searching period followed by a life-affirming realization; he's getting _extra_ extra whipped cream.

The crepe shop prepares the crepes right before your eyes, so he stands at the counter to wait. The tiefling girl to the left of him has gray skin, a high pink ponytail, and a black ring on her middle finger- wait a fucking second, Fitzroy thinks. 

"Cool ring," he says.

"Oh?" the girl says. "Thank you!" She smiles like she's just won the fantasy lottery. "Not to assume anything," she continues. "But I mean, since you...knew about the ring and everything, are you-"

"Yeah, I- yeah," Fitzroy says. "It's quite alright, you weren't being presumptuous."

The girl grins even wider. " _Awesome._ "

The crepe chef (are they called chefs? Fitzroy wonders) hands her a crepe and she leaves, though not without a wink and a thumbs up for Fitzroy.

Fitzroy's crepe is absolutely worth it, but more than that, he can't shake the feeling that something's gone _right_ for a change. The world seems just a little bit less off kilter.

He's...probably going to tell Rainer at some point. She'd definitely understand. Argo is an enigma, and the firbolg would either get it instantly or express deep confusion at the niceties of sexuality. 

All that can wait, though; the day is nice, his crepe is delicious, and he feels more like himself than he has in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> my ~journey with asexuality~ was reading those terrible screenshotted tumblr posts like "straight: i like coke! gay: i like pepsi!" etc on pinterest for 2 years straight, finally moving to tumblr, and dicking around for another year or so until i finally realized "oh shit im not just an overly invested ally there's a word for this and that word is asexual" and then a bit longer until it clicked "oh shit there's a reason i've been faking crushes for years and that's because i'm aro" but i did put the vague structure of "this exists, this is a possibility, this is what i am" into this
> 
> main tumblr blog is @the-feeling-is-mutual, taz sideblog is @taz-adventurezone.


End file.
